Far From Home

I have not felt so far from home since Mom's accident. At that point, I felt I was far from home no matter where I was. When I was here, home felt like GA. When I was there, home felt like NC. I essentially moved to NC in 1989! I went home for summers for a couple of years, and I was in school the first 3 years. Those years don't REALLY count, but still, I moved HERE in 1992. It was so hard to be away from home, and many times I wonder why in the world I stuck it out! In retrospect, I realize I could have found another job in GA. It might not have been the exact same thing, but really. Certainly wonderful things happened because I moved here. I would not be the woman I am today if I hadn't, and I would not have the honor of living this life I live. But, sometimes I just miss "home." And I wonder if this will ever BE home.

My dear friend Katrina lost her father last night. And, every nerve in my body wants to be with her. I want to cook something, take it the family, hold her hand, go to the visitation, go to the funeral, hug her mom, hug her sisters and brothers. She is such a good friend, and Doc was such an amazing man. I did not always agree with him, but what parent does a child always understand? One thing I always understood about him, even as a teenager, was his love. He loved in such a big way! His big hugs, his big laughs, his big talks, his big discipline -- they all were models of a loving father, so in a way a picture of God for me. For some reason the thing that is sticking out right now is when Linda, Katrina and I were sophmores, I think, we wanted to take a bus from Marietta to St. Petersburg to visit our friend Patricia who had recently moved. We were all good girls, and Linda and I managed to convince our parents it was OK. Katrina tried, I tried, I even think my mom tried to talk to Doc, but he was having nothing of it. He did not trust what others might do to us. At the time, it felt like an excuse to me and that he didnt' trust us, but he was the boss and Katrina stayed home. Linda and I got on a bus to FL. When I think about that trip, I understand his fears and persistence. That was the first time I ever saw the mentally ill. At the time I didn't know it, but I clearly remember a person talking to door knobs. We made it there and back safely -- except for a sunburn that will probably one day soon turn into skin cancer, but at this point in my life, I think Doc was right. Boy, would he like to hear that! He liked to be right and have others know it. But, at the same time, he was so down to earth. He was a dentist in Cobb county, but he basically managed to live and raise his family on a "farm" - at least by Cobb county standards. Only at Kat's house did I get close enough to a cow to understand just how big they were! And, oh, could he sing with a sparkle in his eye, heart and voice. He loved music and loved sharing it. He passed on that love to his family, and I have been lucky enough to recieve the gift of that music. Karen played for us on many BSU trips in college. Kristy played the violin/fiddle when I didn't even know about the instrument. The two brightest and most recent memories of this music occurred when Mom was in the hospital. The first was when Kat came to to visit at Windy Hill and sang hymns with Mom. It was beautiful. Mom sang along with Kat's beautiful, loving, gentle voice, and I will never forget it. It was a miraculous gift and picture that Mom was in that body somewhere. Then, the Easter Mom was at Kennestone, they were looking for someone to come lead a group on the rehab floor in song. I called Katrina, and she and Doc came and sang. It was the last time I saw him, and he was singing and ministering with his daughter at the very hospital where he took his last breath in this life. I love that man and the legacy he leaves behind. I can't imagine how his children and Kathy must be feeling. What a joy it is to know that he is in heaven rejoicing, singing and not worrying about his health, but oh the hole he left behind!

Remembering this man and knowing my friend is hurting, makes me feel very far from home! I want to be there to celebrate his life, but I really do not know if I am going to be able to make it happen or not. My heart hurts to think about missing it, but my head just can't see a way. Anyway, I'm feeling very far from home and wondering if THIS will ever be home. I know it is home for my children, and it is where I will live my life. If we moved, I'd miss this life and all the friends we have. When I am logical, I can't really imagine living back in GA, but then this homesickness comes along. I guess that is why you should just never leave home. That is what I'm telling my children -- go off to school, go travel, but come home to have children and live your life!

How Did He Get Old Enough for This?

Yesterday was the first day of Junior Cotillion for Bryant and many of his friends from school. He actually missed baseball practice for this. Doesn't he look handsome? It was the first time he's worn a coat and tie, escorted and seated a lady, danced with a girl. It was also the first time I tied a tie. (Carey still went to practice since he's the coach, but we figured it out! You really can find anything on google.) ANYWAY, I did not do cotillion as a child, but my cousins did. I guess it might be something you do in smaller towns. As it turned out, I was asked to chaperone this week, and I am really glad I was there. We both learned a lot. In this first class, Bryant learned:

* He should offer a lady his right arm to escort her. He is responsible for choosing where they are going to sit. But, she went ahead and told the boys that even though they are officially in charge, it is nice and polite to ask the lady where she would like to sit. So, really, the lady decides. I thought that was probably a good lesson to go ahead and learn when you are 10!

* He learned to button his coat when standing, unbutton when seated.

* He learned to place his nametag on his right side.

* He learned the electric slide, the fox trot and the shag.

This is just a list of a few of the things he learned. I was so impressed with how well everyone behaved, and I was super impressed with how clearly the teacher taught the children. I'm glad I was there to learn the fox trot! There were basically two schools represented in this session of cotillion, and many of the moms from the other school stayed and watched. I would never have thought that was an option, and Bryant did not want me to stay anyway. We talked ahead of time about what I should not do to embarass him, and he told me not to get mad at him and not to take pictures. I told him the only thing I would be upset with him was if he was mean or rude or in some way made a girl feel bad when he was told to dance with her. He did a pretty good job with this. I only saw him cringe or roll his eyes once. We've already talked about how this can be very hurtful. I held true to my promise and did not take pics, but another mom there snapped a few for me. If I get them I just might post them as well.

Anyway, now I can dance with my son. It isn't fancy, but we can do it. How in the world did he get old enough for this? As you can see by this last picture, he's not quite sure what he thinks about this just yet.

The Boys Let Me Down

Thursday night Bryant and Carey went to Raleigh to see NC State play USC. It was opening night. ESPN was there. They were all excited. And, it was even better because they were able to take friends with them. Hunter and Bryant have been playing baseball together for a long time now, and they are on the Braves together. So, over the years we have spent a lot of time with this family. They are also BIG State fans. They even found a ticket for Hunter's little brother Nick to go -- his first State game. So, off the five of them go Thursday. I sent my camera with them. Bryant is kind of obsessed with cameras, phones, ipods, itouches, or all things techy right now. I was not relying on Carey at all to take any pics, but I thought for sure Bryant would come through for me. Nope. Not one picture. When they go off to State together in 8 years, I'm still going to mad at them for not taking any pictures! To add insult to injury, State lost the game, and the boys swear it was the worst officiated college football game they've ever seen -- in their entire 10 years of life.

Good-bye, sigh

This weekend we had to say good bye to a wonderful family. The Robinsons are moving to NY, and we are sad to see them go. Ann Bennett and Lydia started kindergarten together and became fast friends. Lydia's dad coached AB in soccer, and Lydia's big sister, Caroline is a rising 5th grader like Bryant. Lydia and AB have really had fun together, and we are going to miss her. It's hard to say good-bye to a friend when you are only 7. We know they'll be back, and I'm hoping this will make AB want to write. But, it is just not ever the same as having a friend in town with you. Best wishes to the Robinsons. You will be greatly missed!

These are the only pictures I have of the going away party we helped throw last Friday night. First Baptist has a fabulous room for youth at their activity center, and since we were rained out of the pool, the party was in the Cove. The kids danced, played video games, ran around and acted silly, played a little basketball, ate dinner, played ping-pong, pool and the wii. They had a great time and did not want to stop for photos. It was a really fun night. I hope Lydia and Caroline enjoyed it.

First Day of School

The first day of school for 2009-2010. For some reason I never get good pictures of the first day. I don't know if it's because it is so humid in August here, or if it is because we are trying to do this and get to school on time. But, these are the best I could do.

Bryant is 10 and is starting the 5th grade. He is at the same school where he started K. We tried to move to another school last year, but when we did not get a spot, I felt certain that God was leading us to stay put through 5th grade. If you asked him before school started what he was most excited about this year, he probably would have told you not having to tuck in his shirt this year. Last year the 5th graders did not have to follow that rule. Bryant is in a combo 4th/5th grade homeroom, but his academic instruction will take place with 5th graders. It's a complicated system that the principal concocted. I hope it works.

Ann Bennett is 7 and is starting 2nd grade. For the first time in her life she is in a girl heavy class. She has a fabulous teacher/assistant combo. She is also in a 1st/2nd grade combo. (There are only 2 combos in the school and both of our kids are in them.) Her combo class is going to be great. They have taken a lot of independent workers (code for a higher ability group) in each grade and placed them together with few, if any, children with known behavior problems. I think she will have a really good year, and I'm happy for her!

Just to give you an example of what most of my pictures looked like, I thought I'd throw this one in to the mix. What's funny to me is this is how I wore my hair at her age, but I never fixed AB's hair like this. Hers has always gone to the side with a bow -- at least when I had it my way! But, she has decided that she likes it like this. I'll have to look for a pic of me with my hair just like this, but mine was not as fine as hers. In that way, her hair is more like Sandy's.

I wish that at the end of the day we were excited about the year, but with all honesty, we are feeling very shaky. The school is attempting to address behavior more aggressively this year (as they should), but it seems that in so doing a very negative environment has been created. Ann Bennett ended her day with a tantrum, and Bryant asked me to move him to another school or home school him. The only good thing about a bad first day is that day 2 has to be better! At least they were able to wear more color this year (any solid color shirt with a collar), and Ann Bennett can accessorize with belts, bows and jewelry. That always makes you feel better!

Last Day of Summer

EVERY year since my children started preschool I have been ready for school to start. When they were preschoolers, I loved their preschool so much, and they were so happy there that we were delighted when it started. Last summer you might have heard me say there was nothing like summer vacation to make you appreciate public school. But, this year, I am just not ready for summer to end. We have had such a good summer! We decided not to have Bryant considered for all stars this summer, and I think that was the BEST decision we have made in a long time. It slowed the pace of our summer, let us all get some much needed sleep and really set the start of our summer off right! But, today was the last day of summer vacation. Ann Bennett spent the morning with her very good friend who will be moving to NY next week. Bryant, AB and I went to the beach this afternoon with our friends the Colemans and the Brownings. I had my camera and never took it out! The beach was gorgeous. The waves were a little rough, but the boys are all big enough and strong enough swimmers that they can boogy board just fine. The girls played in the water and sand for a long time, and I even had a little time to sit and chat with my friends. It was a great afternoon. Bryant always likes to end the summer with putt-putt, so tonight the whole family went to play. It was a really nice way to end the summer. None of us are really ready for school to start. This age has its challenges, but it is mostly a lot of fun!

Bryant and Carey in the basketball challenge -- Carey smoked him!

Bryant wearing AB's sunglasses and being silly. He's going to love me for posting this one!

As Carey says when he gives the score, Ann Bennett is "having fun." But, she and I both made a hole in one on the first hole, so we each won a free game! The funny thing is that the very first time she ever played putt putt, the same thing happened on this very hole. After that, she took the max for every hole. She's making progress, but for now, she's having fun. And, with our free games, we can go practice some more.

So, that's how we spent our last day of summer. I really hope next year is as much fun as this year was!

Girls Gone FAB

From the time Ann Bennett was tiny, like maybe 2, she loved the princesses and dressing up. She especially loved "Cindelella." For a while she even went through a phase where she called herself "Ann Bennett Cindelella princess." Even as a toddler she always had a purse. She loved (still does) shoes and accessories. Teaching toddlers and having a 2 yo niece reminds me of this stage -- as do all the blogs I read of younger girls. About a year and a half or maybe even 2 years ago she decided Cinderella couldn't be her favorite because she wears Carolina blue, and recently the princesses have become a bit uncool in her age group. But, she has struggled against this. Earlier this year she told me that she didn't like princesses any more, but she was on the verge of tears while saying this. We talked about how it seemed like she did like princesses but most of her friends didn't really like them. I told her it was OK to still like them even in her friends didn't. But, the period of all things princess and fancy seemed to be fading. Don't get me wrong, she still loves her shoes, accessories, nails, lip gloss and recently hair stuff, but the princesses seemed to be fading away.

Anyway, this week, I saw the newest version of dressing up. It seems a little like a trendy, hip, slightly sassy princess version. Notice they also dressed up Allie. In this picture, they are wearing the very first set of princess dress up clothes Ann Bennett had. Somewhere in this house I have a picture of a preschool Bryant in these clothes. He'd kill me if I ever found it and posted it, but trust me it was funny. It also only happened once.

It's funny how as Ann Bennett gets older her play seems more familiar to what I remember as a child. I never dressed up a dog, but our poor cat, Daisy, was tormented by the dress up clothes. Allie did NOT like the dress up! I don't have a great picture because she kept moving around trying to get this stuff off!

And just so you can see what the previous princesses looked like, here are a couple of pictures of Ann Bennett and Anne Catherine 3 years ago (obviously in the "cheese" stage). These are the oldest pictures on this computer. I'd have to work a lot harder, but I bet I could find one very much like this even earlier. Just so you don't have to do the math, the girls were 4 in these pics. (These two are "birthday buddies" as they say. Their birthdays are only a week apart.)